Re: Coach, not bully because...

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Posted by SGV Watcher on February 05, 2018 at 21:57:19:

In Reply to: Re: Coach, not bully because... posted by Bully Coaches on February 05, 2018 at 12:50:09:

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Too many coaches going too far. One thing to push these young ladies to be physically and mentally tough but too degrade, be little and down right bully is a problem. Why donít some of theses schools hold the same standards for the coaches as they do the fans and players. Poor kids canít fight back and if parents step in coaches hold it against the players.

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: : : : : Guarantee the coach above probably pulls the same c--- in practice.
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : I feel coach bashing coming soon by a parent should I dare to ask whatís up.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : No bashing just facts. What is crossing the line?? We suspend kids for cyber bullying and give time out to little kids calling other names but coaches yelling in faces of young girls threatening them, saying personal things to damage self esteem what kind of stuff is that? Not to mention a coach thatís part of the faculty. Iím all for pushing kids , benching, and yelling if need be. But because your a washed up player thatís unhappy because your program is bad donít take it out on kids that canít protect themselves. If they dare say something to anyone they may be cut or further humiliated

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : Was a little bashing in there I admit

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: : : : : : : : : : : : : do you feel better some coaches when they yell to the players they feel better as well. I have not meet a coach that did not have an ego I wish they used those ego's in their personal life but they seem to check that out outside the court.

: : : : : : : : : : : : I was expecting names.

: : : : : : : : : : : : I have seen some coaches get wild and get in players faces but when your picking on defenseless kids thatís bad. Yellimg to feel better is fine but choose your words. Run the kids pull them out of a game but do t take your miserable life out on kids. This coach is a coward and should not be allowed to work At a school

: : : : : : : : : : I have seen Coaches sit, not yell and never raise their voice and then fans complain they're not really a Coach, then I've seen Coaches do the exact opposite and then they're declared a bully. You really can't win as a Coach, there's always going to be those hating on you no matter what you do.

: : : : : : : : : We some weak Ass parents nowadays tell all your kids boys and girls a "Yes Coach" means a whole lot of things my kidsget yelled at and I ask my kids deep down were they wrong 99% of the time. Some coaches do trip but teach the kids to bark a "YES COACH" they will not get rode.

: : : : : : : : If you have to yell and scream at players as a coach you are not getting through. Change your methods. You can help make a player tougher for life skills with methods of respect and sportsmanship. We have players who listen and do their best because we respect them and most importantly LISTEN to them. Every day we have 5 minutes at practice where while stretching we simply ask three questions and then get quiet. These young people are amazing and smart if you let them talk and learn to speak up appropriately.
: : : : : : : : Our teams are respected for how we respect others including players, coaches, referees, fans and school staff.
: : : : : : : : Earlier this season we had to play a very good team that was way better than us. What bad experience as their fans were taunting us (we couldn't find an admin for their school because when we got there we had to search for restrooms for example). Their coach said two words to us the whole time...good game after beating us plus 40 points pressuring whole game. Very sad that there was a family with probably elementary school children sitting there watching them pressure and steal and lay ball up even with 40 point lead. They saw that bulling is acceptable. Hopefully their parents told them it was wrong.
: : : : : : : : We had a game we could have won by 40 plus and we won by 20...starters get more rest, reserves get more playing time. We go with respect and sportsmanship. If you like to play us get in line as we always have a full schedule because of the way we respect people. We are no heroes, simply playing the game and conducting our selves the way ALL teams should. Good luck the rest of the season.

: : : : : : : At a lower level game this season a prominent program program was up by 25 points at one point in the 4th quarter, played only 7 players out of 16 on the roster, was complaining about officiating despite the scoreboard, and never called off it's press. Would you want your kid to play for that program?

: : : : : : I canít believe how many coaches are coaching girls high school basketball and think itís ok to get in players faces. These are grown ass men getting in young girls faces and treating girls like crap. Favoring certain players especially the good players. When I got an opportunity to coach High School Girls Basketball as an assistant I saw it first hand. Coach was being such a bully to the girls. He knew basketball but he did not know how to respect the players. He was horrible. I got two girls to transfer in to play for us and there was no way I was going to let him treat the team like crap. I donít care if you kick them out the gym, sit them down and donít play them but you will not call them stupid names or degrade them while I was at the school.getting in their faces. If youíre ok with coaches calling your kid Stupid idiot, brainless, pathetic or whatever he wants then youíre a horrible parent.
: : : : : : Itís not about playing time nowadays! Coaches are so pety the parents confront them and they take it out on the players. Iíve seen coaches threaten to throw the ball at players or even take them outside to show them what theyíre about. I will say this and have done this. If Iím in the gym and I witness a coach threatening a player physically I make it clear to the coach that itís not gonna happen when Iím around. Fricken grown ass men getting in high school girls faces like theyíre tough. Fricken cowards. Girls will play hard for you if they respect you cause they give a shit.
: : : : : : Itís ok to yell at them and push them and challenge them but there is a line that will not be crossed when Iím in the gym.
: : : : : : Itís not about sportsmanship or running up the score. I donít care about sportsmanship itís about respecting the girls.

: : : : What do you parents expect? Coach is trying to make a MAN out of your little GIRL.

: : : After reading this thread, there seems to be a lot of angry people posting. Here is my take on this Coaches being Bullies, Parents, and Players.

: : : 1. As a coach, my job is to communicate to you (the player) how I want my team to play and teach you our strategy in practices. When a player makes mistakes we need to stop and correct. Drills need to be relevant so that players can connect them to games. If players have questions we need to stop and walk them through the situation. I can assure you that if one has a question others have the same question. Here's a big one. YOU NEED TO BE JUST AS PASSIONATE WHEN THEY MAKE A GOOD PLAY AS YOU ARE WHEN THEY MAKE A MISTAKE. If you are hard on a kid during practice, make sure you pull that kid aside and talk and coach them up, so they know you really care. Don't be afraid to use technology video is a great teaching tool. I have them watch it at home by themselves before we watch as a team.
: : : Lastly do some team bonding where the players are around you in a relaxed fun situation.

: : : 2. As a player, you should be asking questions during practice if you don't understand something. It's the coaches job to explain what he/she wants you to do and how to do it. You have no control over your playing time, but you do have control over your effort on the court and the time you put in to the game. Treat basketball like it's one of your AP classes. You would never go in to the class unprepared. If you are suppose to study game video, study it.

: : : 3. Parents, Your roll in this whole thing is to be support staff. You are caught up in the middle. You want to support your kid, at the same time you want to (for the most part) support the team. You shouldn't be so quick to try to solve your kids problem by approaching the coach. Have your player set up a one on one meeting time before you intervine. Remember what they tell you at the dinner table is coming from one point of view, sometimes they just want to vent. If you feel like you need to talk to the coach. Set up a meeting. Right before or after a game isn't a good time. Emotions are far to high. Bring your daughter to that meeting so that you are all giving and receiving the same information. Lastly, the coach should have a written coaching philosophy. There will always be things you don't agree with. You can't question that anymore than the coach can question decisions you make as a parent. Remember, you are all suppose to be in this together. Our job it to help our kids become productive responsible problem solving citizens and basketball (all athletics) is suppose to be fun. Adults, lets not take the fun out of playing.

: : Sorry, but I've seen this movie too many times. It goes like this: Coach doesn't think the kid is anywhere near as good as daddy thinks she is (and coach is correct). Player starts getting discouraged because everything isn't easy. Dad is afraid little girl will quit and there goes his opportunity for free college and also to live vicariously through his child. Player has only been sticking with ball because she thought she was "all that" which was reinforced by dad. With everything about to crumble, dad blames coach for not understanding his daughter's game.

: : There are some bad coaches for sure. But there's a LOT more bad parents. If you're unhappy with your current coach, look in the mirror because you're the genius who took your kid to this school. Do your research first and don't take your kid to a school that runs a system that doesn't fit your kid, or has a coach that screams and yells if your kid is sensitive to that. And make sure your kid really wants to play and that you're not just making her do it.

: Hell Yeah! If the high school coach get in the players face and treats them like crap that has nothing to do with Basketball it is a parents obligation to speak up cause girls wonít do it. Been there done that. Kid you not. Transferred my child on her sophomore year to new school cause of academics and playing time. New Coaching staff treated players like crap for any little reason. I confronted the coach and told him youíre not gonna do that to my kid. Previous coach was great and had the girls working so hard for him and he did have to a jerk. Coach did improve while I was there and even tripled the wins on our first year. I donít complain about playing time or how hard they work but a Coaches donít have the Right to be little players like they do. Iím talking about high school. Club you can do what you want but High School youíre actually a teacher first. Coaches, push your teams hard but donít disrespect them by getting in their faces and making them feel like trash. This goes more the coward as coaches who think they have the right to treat young ladies like trash with stupid comments. Good Luck in playoffs.

To the above poster I'm going to have to disagree with part of what you said. I don't think any coach should be in a players face high school or travel ball coach. As a coach, I have to know my players. Some you have to get their attention first. But that should be done in practice. There is a fine line that all coaches walk between pushing players to their limits, and bullying. I see more selfish parents who think their kid is a division 1 player and will try to manipulate these coaches by threatening to leave.

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